More tranny stories later!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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