hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
