Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
