Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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