just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
