Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
