I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
