did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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