she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
