You made me cry and you don't even care
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
