the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
