I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
