Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
