I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
