Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
