I think I am morally bankrupt
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
