i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
