he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
