dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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