Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
