Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
