so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Let's paint friendship bongs
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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