you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
