chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
