Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
