What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I deserve this hangover.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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