i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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