This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
