I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
