Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
