I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
