When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
