i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
