So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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