Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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