Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
