im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
