guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
