Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
