Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
