): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
