Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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