Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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