I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So much Jack, so little girl.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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