I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
