4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
