my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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