He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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