NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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