Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
