Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
